To Cut or Not to Cut: The Circumcision Debate

During pregnancy, you do everything you can to keep your little bundle of joy safe. You eat the right foods, get the right exercise, and do your best to make sure your little one is healthy. During birth, you go natural in order to protect that precious little one from any danger, knowing the results of interventions. You work hard in labor to make it to the end, finally having your adorable baby boy in your arms. During diaper changes, you be so very careful, knowing how fragile your new baby is; carefully making sure that he is content and never hurting. 

Then, we allow someone to come in and cut off a piece of his flesh, with no pain medications, no comfort measures. Your baby boy searches for you during this time, but momma is nowhere to be found. He has never experienced pain before now. 

"But it's better for him," you say, "he'll get fewer infections." 

Let's explore that idea. This article  states: (The studies show) "that circumcision resulted in a "ten to hundred times decrease in urinary tract infections in circumcised boys," has often been quoted; however, it is misleading. In fact, UTIs are so rare in any case that, using Wiswell's data, 50 to 100 healthy boys would have to be circumcised in order to prevent a UTI from developing in only one patient. (Using more recent data from a better-controlled study, the number of unnecessary operations needed to prevent one hospital admission for UTI would jump to 195."  

"But if it saves that ONE boy out of 100, isn't a worth it?"

Have you ever had a UTI? What did you do to treat it? Antibiotics of course, you wouldn't cut off a piece of your body! This article shows baby girls are significantly more likely than male babies (even uncircumcised males) to get UTI's.

Of course your response would be "but it's easier to cut off a little piece of skin on a boy than to do surgery to prevent UTI's on females." Think of it in this way: You wouldn't let your dentist remove teeth in order to prevent cavities! That would be just silly! 

The rate of uncircumcised males getting UTI's are 1-4%, the complication risk of circumcision is 0.2 to 38 percent. (The higher rate included complications reported during the infants� first year.  Looking at these numbers, the risk of complications greatly outweighs the benefits.

"But it's a cultural thing; my baby would look weird if we don't get him circumcised."

More and more mothers are becoming informed about circumcision. Only 55% of male babies born this year are circumcised. The cultural argument is very much becoming a thing of the past. Half of the other boys in the locker room will look similar. 

"But it's Biblical, my child would not be considered a Christian if he is uncircumcised."

Circumcision does have its roots in Christianity, as God required any Jewish man to be circumcised in the Old Testament. Once Jesus came, died, and rose again, the faith was opened up to everybody who would believe in the one true God. Galatians 5:6 says this:” For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." The New Testament says over and over again that circumcision no longer matters. Christ died for EVERYONE to become a new creation in him, and circumcision is no longer a requirement! Jesus died to set us free from the law. 

"But I want my little boy to look like his father, who is circumcised." 

Are you going to have your little boy's eye color changed to match daddy's? Dye his hair to match daddy's? We all look different. We shouldn't pressure baby to look like anyone else but himself, and comparing genitalia should never be encouraged. Too many boys’ self-esteem comes from comparing themselves to other males; please don't start this when they are young. Your child won't notice the difference in the same way he wouldn't notice his hair is blonde and daddy's is brown, and once he becomes old enough to know that, he shouldn't be looking at daddy's penis anyway! 

"Does foreskin even have a purpose?" 

This article states MANY purposes of circumcision: Feel free to click the link and read the purposes in more detail! The purposes include protection, self-cleansing function, self-protecting function, immunological protection, antibacterial function, coverage during erection, erogenous sensitivity, self-stimulating sexual function, self-lubricating function, and production, retention, and dispersal of pheromones. It's amazing actually how much purpose the foreskin has! 

I really hope this has helped encourage you to rethink your circumcision decision. It is something that will affect your son for his entire life.

Also, if you decide to leave your son intact, do not retract the foreskin. Read on how to take care of an intact penis. Only clean what is seen. 

For more research, check out The Whole Network. They have a tremendous amount of great information for any questions you may have! 

Sleep Series Pt. 1: Crying It Out

Let me tell you a story...

There once was a husband and wife. The husband loved the wife dearly and always did what he could to make his wife happy. They would laugh and have fun together throughout the day, even sharing loving intimate moments. 

The wife was having trouble going to sleep when the husband was out of the room, so the husband got sick of having to go to bed at the same time she went to bed, so he decided to experiment a little. He decided he was going to shut the door, and allow her to fall asleep on her own, no matter how long it took. The wife started to feel lonely and just wanted a little reassurance from her husband. She was still very much loved by him, but no matter how loudly she yelled for him, or how many times she asked for him, he did not come. She eventually feel asleep, exhausted, feeling abandoned by her husband. 

The next day, the husband woke her up, smiled, and acted like nothing had happened the night before. The wife of course was still very shaken up about what happened the night before. This happened night after night, until the wife finally just gave up and started falling asleep without making a fuss. 

How do you think that wife felt? Do you think it hurt their relationship? Do you think the wife trusts the husband the same as before? Does that make you angry at the husband for not being there for his wife? 

That story is of course an extreme exaggeration, the husband/wife relationship is very different than the parents/children. But think it about it, parents respond lovingly throughout the day, and at night, when it is dark and scary, there is no one to be found. How scary for their little minds! 

Babies do not develop object permanence until 8 or 9 months old, so when crying it out has begun, not only do mommy and daddy not come with baby cries, baby has no idea mommy and daddy even exist. Just take a second and think about how scary that would be. 

Now that we have thought about what crying-it-out does emotionally to an infant, let's talk about what it does physically. I have heard a few people say "crying is good for babies! It helps exercise their lungs!" This is clearly a myth, as crying for extended periods have detrimental affects on the babies body. 

This article on psychology today, states many dangers that occur with crying it out. 

The first thing the author points out is the damage to the baby's brain. "When the baby is greatly distressed,it creates conditions for damage to synapses, network construction which occur very rapidly in the infant brain.  The hormone cortisol is released. In excess, it's a neuron killer which many not be apparent immediately (Thomas et al. 2007). A full-term baby (40-42 weeks), with only 25% of its brain developed, is undergoing rapid brain growth. The brain grows on average three times as large by the end of the first year (and head size growth in the first year is a sign ofintelligence, e.g., Gale et al., 2006)."

The second point the author notes is damage to the nerves: "Disordered stress reactivity can be established as a pattern for life not only in the brain with the stress response system (Bremmer et al, 1998), but also in the body through the vagus nerve, a nerve that affects functioning in multiple systems (e.g., digestion). For example, prolonged distress in early life, resulting in a poorly functioning vagus nerve, is related disorders as irritable bowel syndrome (Stam et al, 1997). See more about how early stress is toxic for lifelong health from the recent Harvard report, The Foundations of Lifelong Health are Built in Early Childhood)."

Third is self regulation: "The baby is absolutely dependent on caregivers for learning how to self-regulate. Responsive care---meeting the baby's needs before he gets distressed---tunes the body and brain up for calmness. When a baby gets scared and a parent holds and comforts him, the baby builds expectations for soothing, which get integrated into the ability to self comfort. Babies don't self-comfort in isolation. If they are left to cry alone, they learn to shut down in face of extensive distress--stop growing, stop feeling, stop trusting (Henry & Wang, 1998)."


The author goes on to note the danger to trust, and to future emotional sensitivity of the caregiver. 

I feel like ALL those things are something most parents do everything they can to avoid! So why is crying it out so popular? 

I really think it is because parents want the babies to be on their schedule. Most babies will naturally fall into their own schedule at a few months old, but parents like to have their routine as similar to their pre-baby routine as soon as possible. Society helps push that point, praising the women who are back at work so soon after giving birth, for getting their bodies back at soon at possible. Society asks if the baby is a "good" baby, implying if he/she sleeps through the night, or wakes you up multiple times throughout the night. If baby is not sleeping through the night at a very early age, your parenting is critiqued, and you are told you are spoiling the baby. (Note: You can NOT spoil a baby.) Another blog on that topic coming soon.

I think we were created with a mothers intuition for a reason, and I honestly think if we respect that, we will always be making the right parenting decision, and crying it out is never what our intuition is telling us. In fact every woman says how much of a struggle it is to not respond to your baby. This is because you were designed to respond to your baby! 

You do not want the baby to feel what the wife in the story is feeling. You wouldn't want your husband do let you 'cry it out'. LOVE on that baby! 

In the next post, we will talk about the benefits of co-sleeping, and other sleep tricks. 

I am looking forward to also diving into the benefits of early dependence  and how it leads to independence, not a spoiled child.