I recently had someone ask me my opinion on being a young mom vs an older mom. I personally think there are pros/cons in both situation.
I personally have grew up with an older mom (she gave birth to me a few months before her 40th birthday). I really have enjoyed all the wisdom she has passed down to me that she has learned throughout the years. Also, the benefit of retirement coming soon is great, as she will have more time to come visit!
The biggest con I experience is, since she is getting older, she may not be around for me as long as she has been around for my older siblings. She also will not have as much energy to care for my children (when they arrive). I worry about my children not knowing her as well as my sibling's children, who cherish her.
I love my mom, I wouldn't trade her for the world.
But I do wonder what it would be like to have a younger mom, who has more energy and more involved with outside activities. Although a younger mom might still be trying to get her career started, savings built, and building the foundation for her relationship with her spouse.
Fertility is also something to think about when making the decision of when to have children. According to this article women lose 90% of their eggs by age 30, and are left with only 3% at age 40. That is definitely something to consider. It will be a lot harder to become a first time mom in your thirties, than in your twenties. (although there are a ton of fertility options for those choosing to be an older mom!) Pregnancy is also more likely to be low risk in your twenties.
In my opinion, it is a personal decision. Each individual situation needs to be looked at. Whether the family is settled down, financially at a point where they could afford another mouth to feed, insurance, and how stable the relationship is between the potential mother and father to be.
This article describes the benefits the author has experienced in being a young mom; including not getting to caught up in your career, so it is easier to commit to being a stay at home mom for a few years, having more energy to chase around a rambunctious toddler, and also being younger once they leave the house, so the parents have time to experience the world again before entering into their later years.
On the contrary, this article discusses the benefits of being an older mom, including maturity, more relaxed, more stability, and being able to offer your children the wisdom you have acquired throughout the years.
The father needs to have say in timing as well. A father who feels he is not quite ready to be a parent, but the mother has pressured him into it, is going to have more trouble adjusting to fatherhood. We talk so much about when the potential mother wants a baby, leaving out a huge key person in the discussion. The father needs to be just as ready for parenthood as the mother.
There is a lot of things to be considered when figuring out timing for this miracle to occur. Some of us aren't so lucky as deciding when is right, and life just surprises us!
I don't think there is any magic time to have children. It's up to the mother and father to be to discuss what works better for their current lifestyle.
I would love to start having children young, but DH and I have discussed and evaluated and decided it will be better if we waited a few more years. Factors in our decision include financial (particularly because I absolutely want to be a stay at home mom), developing more emotional maturity, continuing to build our marriage, and just not knowing where we are going to be living a year from now.
People will tell you "you never are actually ready" or "if you wait for the right time it may never come/be too late." Don't let this scare you into making a decision you are not ready for. Children are a huge blessing, but a huge responsibility. Your life will never go back to the way it was before.
When do you think is the right time to have children? Let's continue the conversation at https://www.facebook.com/LovingNaturally
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